21st Century Breath Mint Marketing

By | Friday, November 11, 2016 Leave a Comment

On October 8, 2016, after the release of the now infamous Access Hollywood tape, the makers of tic tac ® breath mints tweeted, “Tic Tac respects all women. We find the recent statements and behavior completely inappropriate and unacceptable.” But, now that it turns out that tic tac USA backed the wrong horse, they're going to need a major new advertising campaign to appease their customers.

Here's my pitch for a tic tac Freshmints make-over:

tic tac freshmints ® - for when you just can't wait to grab her pussy.

Keep plenty of tic tacs ® in your purse. If you’re going to be sexually assaulted, 
make sure his breath is minty fresh.

tic tac ® keeps your mouth pussy-grabbing sweet.

Of course, tic tac isn't the only breath mint that needs to learn to appeal to a new audience:

Altoids® - Curiously strong mints for the sophisticated pussy grabber.

Tic tacs are fine for grabbing a pussy, but for anal violation, gentlemen prefer Altoids®. (tm)

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