The Uncarved Block Turns 100

This is my 100th posting on The Uncarved Block. Woo hoo!

I wrote my first post on June 27, 2008. At about that time I saw an article that said that the average blog was read by six people and was maintained for three months. I don’t know if that is still true (and I don’t really know if it was true at the time.) Regardless, it feels good to have gone well beyond those anemic numbers.

On the other hand, four and a half years to post 100 entries is hardly a raging torrent of prose. For a blog like The Daily Kos, 100 postings is barely a flicker. But I feel like this is a moment worthy of my notice and appropriate for reflection. I’m not sure why, but over the years I have gone through periods where I felt like I had a lot to say – a lot to write – and that I wanted to put it out in public. But then there were other times when I would go for days, weeks, or even months without writing a word. Friends tell me that this inconsistency is deadly for a blog; people only want to subscribe to something that they can read every day like the newspaper, or at the worst, once a week like a TV show.

One of the hardest things about continuing to write is the lack of feedback. I’m able to get reports of the number of visitors to the blog and its various posts. I find these statistics confusing at best. Let’s say this week there were 500 page views, 250 visitors, and 200 unique visitors. Hmmmmmm. What do those numbers really tell me? Of all those views and visitors, none left a trace – not a comment, not a “like” on Facebook, not a Google+, not a tweet. Did these visitors enjoy what they read? Was it valuable to them? Did they even read it, or did they find the post through a search engine only to discover that it wasn't what they wanted, then leave within seconds to search for something else?

I wish people would give me some kind of feedback, some crumb or clue, even if it is negative. I think I would be happier getting comments like “why are you wasting your time on this crap” than facing the current state of silence. I find it disconcerting that a post like Repairing an Antique Soda Siphon can get 4000 hits but only three comments. The other 3997 readers had nothing to say? Ah, well. I am fairly sure that most people that get to a posting on this blog arrived there through a search engine. They search for something like “Sparklets soda siphon,” which takes them to that post. Even if it is the material that they wanted, they don’t stick around. They wanted to find out about Sparlets soda siphons, got the information they were looking for, and left. They aren't inspired to see what I have to say about seed cleaning, or Rodney King, or dogs having Buddha nature.

I had some excellent feedback from a good friend about the blog as a whole. He suggested that I make it much more focused; not the “Miscellaneous Ramblings of an Uncarved Block,” but rather a blog about “food, gardening, fixing gadgets, and my dog.” He is quite right. Such a blog could generate a following, a readership, possibly even a dialogue. But it’s not really what I want to write. So I have to choose. Do I write what I want to write and not get the response I desire, or do I try to get the response that I want without the opportunity to ramble. Sigh.

My second post, way back in June of '08, was entitled “Graffiti”. In it I pondered the question of why I was writing this blog at all. Ninety eight posts later I still don’t have an answer. I’ll check in again at post 200 to tell you what I've found.

The Gas Arrow, or, on which side of your car is your gas tank filler?

My cousin Hank told me the other day about an automobile feature that I never knew existed. In your own car, you know which side the gas cap is on (or perhaps I should say that I hope you know.) But on a rental car, when you get to a gas station, how do you know? If you were me, you got out of the car and looked. But guess what?!? It turns out that on the gas gauges of most modern cars there is a little arrow pointing to the side that the gas filler is on.

I gotta say that is a brilliant little standard that the automakers have created. However, it would be a lot more brilliant IF THEY HAD F'ING TOLD SOMEONE! I mean, come on! You add a spectacularly useful feature to your product, but then you don’t tell people that it is there??? What’s that about?

Here, for your enjoyment, is the page from my car’s owner’s manual discussing the fuel gauge:

There's the arrow, plain as day. But does the text say anything about it? I think not.

The whole thing makes me think of the movie Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb (1964) . [SPOILER ALERT] In one of the movie’s many famous scenes, the Russian ambassador tells the U.S. President and his cabinet (including Dr. Strangelove) about the existence of a secret doomsday machine. The machine is set to blow up the planet, destroying all life on earth if anyone detonates an atomic weapon, thereby deterring the use of atomic bombs by all players. But the doomsday machine is only a deterrent if everyone knows about it, and everyone knows that they will die if they attack. Dr. Strangelove, in a clenched tooth, throat gripping invective demands "...the whole point of the Doomsday machine is lost if you keep it a secret - WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL THE WORLD, EH?"

That’s what I want to know. Hey car companies! You added this great little bit of useful information to your cars. WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL THE WORLD, EH?

By the way, I did a bit of searching to try to find out when the “gas arrow” started showing up on dashboards. I did a general online search. I searched the U.S. NHTSA (National Highway Traffic Safety Administration.) I searched the SAE (Society of Automotive Engineers.) I searched the U.S. EPA (Environmental Protection Agency) since they set fuel standards in the U.S. I turned up nothing. My guess is that some car company (probably Mercedes Benz) came up with the idea and that everyone else just followed suit without any standards body getting involved. If you know when this little arrow started appearing on dash boards, and/or why it wasn't announced to the automobile driving public, I’d love to hear about it.

Stanhopea orchid

Here is a series of photos taken as my Stanhopea orchid opening over the course of several days. I'm not sure if it is Stanhopea oculata or wardii. Click on the images to see larger versions, and don't forget to Facebook/Tweet/G+ or comment if you like this post :-)

The plant with flower spikes well formed a few days before opening.

Closeup of the flower spike hanging down from the plant (most orchids have flower spikes that rise upwards from the plant.)

The flower buds develop more color and begin to enlarge

Even more color in the buds, and peduncles (flower stems) begin to stand out from the spike.

The first two buds begin to open.

The first two flowers are open, though not fully. Two other buds have begun to open (notice that the open flower above has two petals curling backward, while on the flower below, which is about an hour younger, the petals have just begun to curl upwards.)

Most of the buds are now open. There are several other spikes on this plant waiting to go.

The whole plant with most of the buds open.

All but one bud are now fully open.

Closeup of a fully opened flower.

Finally, all the flowers on this spike have opened.

The plant with one spike fully opened.

The Danger of Feeding Dogs Raw Trout

Kero in her "room" at the veterinary hospital with her  IV tube and cone removed during one of my visits (she's hiding her arm under her body in the hopes that we wont reconnect the IV tube.)

[Note: If you want to skip the story and just jump to the important part, click here.]


A few weeks ago my lovely husky, Kero, fell very sick. Initially, she seemed confused, was walking strangely, and would hardly eat anything. Kero had been on a walk with the dog walkers earlier in the week on a very hot day. I wondered if perhaps she had become dehydrated. It also occurred to me that she might have re-injured her back (broken years ago in a car accident.) Perhaps something had happened while running or playing that had caused a swelling in a disk, impacting her spinal cord.

I didn’t want to over-react, but I kept a close eye on her. At one point when she was laying down I threw a treat to her. It bounced past her. She lifted her head, looked at the treat, and then put her head back down again. This was not good. I went over and examined her. She allowed me to touch, poke, and prod her everywhere, including her feet. She never lets anyone touch her feet without a major hassle. I was very worried. It was time to go do the vet.

It was a Saturday, so our usual veterinarian wasn't there, but the vet who saw Kero was very careful and concerned. I mentioned the heat on the walk, her back, and the fact that I had fed her some raw mackerel a week earlier. After the examination the veterinarian opined that there were a couple different possibilities, but she suspected pancreatitis. Blood was drawn for a full set of tests and Kero’s back and belly were x-rayed. We were sent home to await the results, along with some pain medication in case it was a physical injury that was causing Kero distress.

The next day I got the call with the results: the x-rays showed that Kero’s back was unchanged; she still had the old damage from her earlier injury, but nothing new had happened to explain her behavior. The x-rays didn’t show anything else going on in the areas that were filmed. Her blood tests however showed significant pancreatic enzymes in her blood – clear evidence that her pancreas was damaged, presumably by pancreatitis. However, pancreatitis is normally accompanied by vomiting and diarrhea. Kero wasn’t showing those symptoms.

The following day I brought her back in for more tests and a day of IV fluids. Then again the next day, and the next. One by one they ruled out every possibility except pancreatitis through x-rays, ultrasound, and blood and urine tests. Still, there was no vomiting. They began keeping her overnight, feeding her orally with a syringe. She refused to eat on her own.

Eventually she began having diarrhea. Major, explosive, projectile diarrhea. But no vomiting. At that point I asked my vet if it was possible that she had a parasite such as giardia as well as pancreatitis. We were expecting diarrhea with the pancreatitis, but there should have been vomiting too, and timing of the diarrhea was odd. A stool sample was sent off for analysis. The result: Salmon Poisoning Disease (SPD).

I was confused. I had recently fed her raw mackerel, but definitely not salmon. I knew that raw salmon was a no-no. A couple years earlier a neighbor’s dog was dying of cancer. I commiserated with her about her dog’s condition. She wondered what would be on his “bucket list.” I said I knew what would be at the top of Kero’s list: a whole fresh salmon. After that conversation it occurred to me, why wait until your dog is dying to give them the thing you think they would like most in this world. On the other hand, I was worried about fish bones and so forth, so I went online to see if there was anything I should know before giving her such an über-treat.

I found a lot of web site, blogs, and discussion groups that talked about feeding your dog raw food – fish or otherwise. There were many people that praised raw food as the ultimate source of canine nutrition; after all, dogs evolved from wolves. There were just as many who felt that raw food was dangerous – dogs aren’t wolves just as we aren’t chimps, and the raw ingredients we buy in grocery stores may contain all kinds of contagion that would normally be destroyed by cooking. Regardless of which side a web site or author came down on regarding raw food they all agreed on one thing: no raw salmon. In the end I decided that I would feed her some raw fish from time to time – as long as it wasn’t salmon. Kero was wildly enthusiastic about the new addition to her diet. Hence the mackerel I had fed her the week before.

Now the test results were showing positive for salmon-flukes. But I hadn’t fed her any salmon. I went online to see if there was anything wrong with feeding a dog raw mackerel. Try as I might, I couldn't find a single mention of mackerel being a problem. I wasn’t certain exactly when I had bought the fish, or where. I suspected the mackerel might be an important clue, so I went through my credit card slips to nail down the details. What I found was a surprise. I had totally forgotten - a few days earlier I had purchased a trout at a local grocery store for my dinner that night. I have no idea why I remembered the mackerel the prior week, but forgot the more recent trout.

I was sure the trout had come eviscerated – they always are. As I thought back I recalled coating it with egg wash and flour and pan frying it. But I couldn’t for the life of me remember if I had cooked it head on, or if I had removed the head and given it to Kero. Regardless, I returned to the internet to search for information on salmon flukes and trout.

Here is what the Merck Vet Manual has to say:

[Salmon Poisoning Disease] is caused by Neorickettsia helminthoeca and is sometimes complicated by a second agent, N elokominica , which causes EFF [Elokomin fluke fever]. The vector of both agents is a small fluke, Nanophyetus salmincola . Dogs and other animals become infected by ingesting trout, salmon, or Pacific giant salamanders that contain encysted metacercariae of the rickettsia-infected fluke. In the dog’s intestine, the larval flukes excyst, embed in the duodenal mucosa, and introduce the rickettsiae. The fluke infection itself produces little or no clinical disease.

Yup, raw trout can contain the same fluke that causes Salmon Poisoning Disease. The big problem is that the disease is known as “Salmon Poisoning Disease,” but it can be caused by ingesting any raw salmonid species. The members of the family salmonidae include salmon, trout, char, freshwater whitefish, and graylings. Though I couldn’t be certain, I must have removed the head from the trout and given it to Kero, not realizing that trout can carry SPD.

As soon as the diagnosis was made they began administering anti-parasitic drugs for the fluke and antibiotics for the associated bacteria (which is the actual agent of the disease.) Within a couple of days Kero’s fever was down, the diarrhea had stopped, and she had begun eating on her own. She came home. In just a few days she was back to her old self (though almost 25% lighter.) A few weeks later only the missing hair where she had been shaved remained as a reminder of her ordeal. A follow-up urine test showed no indication of pancreatitis.

I was surprised at how many web sites make reference to the danger of feeding dogs raw salmon, but few mention trout. Even my vet had not known that raw trout could carry the fluke that causes SPD. It is worth noting that untreated, SPD is fatal in 90% of cases. So, I hope that this blog posting might help to spread the word, and maybe, just maybe, save other dogs (and their faithful guardians) from considerable pain.

Buh-bye jetBlue

Once again I am taking advantage of my blog to vent a little spleen about a company that has let me down. It isn't the first time and I am fairly sure it won’t be the last.

For years friends of mine told me about how great jetBlue was. Unfortunately, they never seemed to fly where I wanted to go on a schedule that was comfortable for me. Finally in May 2008 I had an opportunity to fly jetBlue to Boston. I recall liking the extra legroom and the individual entertainment system in the backs of each seat. It was a good experience, so I wanted to fly them again. The next time I was traveling to a location that jetBlue serviced was one year later in May 2009. Again, I recall an above-average experience. I flew them again in May 2010.

After that, none of my travels took me to places that jetBlue serviced. Unfortunately, that meant that all of my jetBlue miles were going to expire. Unlike United Airlines, Delta, and the other carriers with whom I have frequent flyer accounts, jetBlue only provides two ways to keep your miles active: (1) fly jetBlue once a year, or (2) get the jetBlue American Express credit card. Considering my high opinion of jetBlue, I was surprised that their frequent flyer program was so restrictive. So be it. I got the jetBlue American Express credit card and made the requisite charge to keep my mileage points active. I won't go into all of the rigmarole that happened during this process. (They deleted my points anyway, then I had to get them reinstated, etc. It was an unnecessary pain in the ass.) It wasn't the end of the world, but it did tarnish the otherwise pristine image of jetBlue.

I finally had the chance to fly with jetBlue again last month (and use up my jetBlue miles.) I flew from New York’s JFK International airport to Oakland, California. But unlike my previous positive experiences with jetBlue, this time they did everything in their power to drive me away as a customer.

My problems started with the taxi driver. Given the time that I got into a taxi in Brooklyn, I should have been at the airport 2 hours before my flight. Unfortunately, the driver decided that he wanted to pick up a few extra bucks by taking me the long, painful, slow route. So, he got an extra $10 on the meter, and I got to the airport with just under an hour before takeoff. At check-in I asked the attendant if I was going to make my flight. She told me that it was leaving on time, but that I would make it as long as I went straight to the gate. Everything would still have been fine, but security was running at a snail’s pace. After I made it through, I ran the rest of the way, glancing at the information screens along the way to make sure that the gate hadn’t changed and boarding hadn’t started yet.

When I arrived I was frazzled and dripping with sweat. There were several flights all leaving from the same area with some confusion going on, so I went up to the gate agent to ask if this was still my flight and how soon we were boarding. He assured me that I was in the right place, but, the plane wasn’t at the gate yet, so departure would be at least a half an hour late. Just as he said this, the display behind him switched from “ON TIME” to “NOW BOARDING.”

I had run through JFK to make sure I made my flight, but the plane wasn’t even at the gate! I asked why they hadn’t updated the display information. He said that it takes 15 minutes for the new info to appear, so it isn’t worth it to change it. “Fifteen minutes?!?! Why?” I asked. He told me that it had to go to the main office and back again. I pointed out that a signal can make it from earth to mars and back again in that time, and, even if it does take 15 minutes, information that is 15 minutes out of date is better than information that is completely wrong. [note: technically I takes anywhere from 8 minutes to 42 minutes to go from earth to mars and back again, depending on where the two planets are in their orbits.]

Since I was talking to the gate agent anyway, I asked about the food on the plane. The flight was leaving at 5pm eastern time and was schedule to land at 10:30pm eastern, so I expected that some kind of dinner would be offered – either for free or for a fee. I got my next surprise when he told me that the only things available on the plane were snacks like pretzels, cookies and nuts – for a fee. Since I had a half an hour to kill, I went to the bathroom, washed up and tried to dry some of the sweat, and then went to buy my dinner.

Eventually the plane was at the gate, cleaned, and ready to go. Boarding was totally screwy, as the gate agent decided to call each of the boarding zones within a matter of seconds of each other, but, at last we were all on board and settled in our seats.

As we began taxiing, I noticed that the people in seats ahead of me were watching programs on their entertainment systems, but mine, and those of the two people sitting next to me were blank. I imagined that they would come on after take-off, so I waited. No luck. After we were airborne and the screens in our three seats hadn’t come to life, I pushed the attendant call button to see if something could be done. Eventually Brian, the chief attendant on our flight, came over. He looked very put out to have to respond to a call. I pointed out that our screens were blank. He said “oh,” and walked away. I had imagined he might say something more than just “oh,” but I was hopeful that he had gone off to fix the problem. Five minutes later he came back, gave each of us coupons for $15 off a future flight, and left. Not a word spoken. Nothing. To which I say, “Oh gee, thanks!” Fifteen whopping dollars off a future flight, when one of the main reasons I was on jetBlue was the prospect of passing 5 boring hours with their entertainment system. Not to mention the fact that I had paid an extra $65 to upgrade my seat to their “Even More Space™” section with extra legroom. Sigh.

Some while later a different attendant was going down the aisle so I stopped her to ask about the screens. “Couldn't you try resetting the system to see if they will come on?” I asked her. She apologized profusely, and was very nice about it, but said that for some unknown reason they weren't allowed to reset the system unless at least 20 screens were affected. For just three, she couldn't do it. She agreed that it made no sense, and suggested that I contact jetBlue about it when we landed. It didn't get my entertainment system working, but at least she was nice about it.

Unfortunately I have been suffering from lower back pain for quite a while. Even with the extra legroom afforded by “Even More Space ™”, I can’t make it through a 5 hour flight without some major stretching. After about 2 or 3 hours in the air, with the “fasten seatbelt light” off, I got up and went to the galley area to stretch my back and legs. Not more than a minute later Brian arrived on the scene. “You can’t be here. This is a secure area. You have to stand behind that yellow line,” he said, pointing to the line that separated the carpeted seating area from the uncarpeted entry/exit/galley area.

While holding a side-stretch I replied “don’t be ridiculous, this isn’t a secure area on US Air, United, or any of the other airlines I fly.”

“FAA regulations require that only crew members be in this area during flight! You must leave this area now!” he barked at me.

Logically this was absurd, since passengers have to travel through the area to get to the bathroom. I ignored him and continued stretching. I hate it when flight attendants make up rules.

“Sir, now I’ve told you two times already, you must step behind the yellow line immediately.” He said, turning slightly red.

“Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it? Make me?” I said. Now, in retrospect I will admit that wasn't the kindest, smartest, or most genteel thing to say, but my back was killing me, I knew he was wrong, and clearly Brian wasn’t gonna be my friend. I say I knew he was wrong because I had flown to New York on US Air a week earlier. That leg of the trip had a stop-over, so it was really two flights. On each of them I had gone to the galley area and stretched. On those flights, the US Air attendants had chatted amicably about what stretches work best, and one even wondered out loud why more passengers don’t get up to stretch. We joked about launching a new Airline called “Air Yoga.” At no time did they tell me I had to leave. In fact, I have done stretching exercises in the galleys of virtually every airplane I have flown for the past decade. Oh well. [Aside: after returning home I searched diligently through the FAA regulations. They say nothing on the matter.]

“No. I’m not going to make you, but when we land you will be arrested.” He threw the word “arrested” at me with a hiss, then turned to a shelf where he pulled out what appeared to be a log book.

OK. Fine. I didn’t need that kind of noise in my life. So I stepped behind the yellow line and resumed my stretching, to the annoyance of the passengers seated in row 1. Of course, once I’m being stupid, it’s hard to give it up. “So, what happens if I call you nasty names?” I asked Brian.

“This is what happens!” he hissed, tearing a slip of paper out of his log book and thrusting it at me.

According to the slip of paper, I had been officially warned. “Awesome. This will look great on my Facebook page.” I said, smiling, as I went back to my seat. Brian disappeared into the cockpit for about half an hour. I’m not sure if he was in there looking for the FAA regulation he had been quoting, or if the pilot was talking him down. Meanwhile, the nice flight attendant asked me if I wanted a drink to help me relax. I told her I was fine, but she might want to give one to Brian.

When I got back home I immediately cancelled my American Express jetBlue credit card. For one thing, I didn’t need it anymore to preserve my jetBlue mileage points as they had been used up on this trip. For another, I don’t plan to fly jetBlue again.

I then went to the jetBlue web site to look for an email address for comments. Apparently, there isn’t one (I searched high and low.) If you go to their “Contact Us” page (the link is discretely placed at the bottom of the main page), you will find prominently displayed all of their phone numbers all over the world (with a note that it costs $20 to book a flight over the phone.) They also provide links to their FAQ’s. Down at the bottom of this page there is a tabbed box where you can “share concerns.” Clicking the “share concerns” tab gives you a form with a 2-inch by 1-inch box where you can enter your "concerns."

Clearly jetBlue has joined the mainstream corporate world and doesn't wants to hear complaints. I used their “share concerns” form to send them a message saying that I wanted an email address for complaints. Their response said, “The Speak Up link at jetblue.com where you sent your question is where you will send all email correspondence. You are welcome to reply to this email with your concerns and we will do our best to respond.” OK. That’s fine. I can send them an email, but they’d prefer that I enter this whole story into a 2-inch by 1-inch box. Personally, I’d rather post it on my blog for all to see.

I will grant you that I wasn't completely innocent in this debacle, and it was just one bad journey (though I count it as three bad experiences – one on the ground and two in the air.) However, given that jetBlue so rarely flies where I want to go, their mediocre frequent flyer mileage program, and the distinct impression that they really don’t want to hear from disgruntled passengers, leaves me feeling that I don’t need to fly jetBlue ever again.

So, to all of you at jetBlue, I say buh bye, and “Happy Jetting™” (without me.)

Comic Evolution

For my entire adult life I have believed the theory of evolution. Darwin, natural selection, random mutations, the whole shebang. Until yesterday. Yesterday I learned about Coryanthes speciosa, an orchid that shook my confidence in the theory of evolution to its foundation.

Coryanthes speciosa is an epiphytic orchid that comes from the jungles of northern South America. It has a rather unique method of convincing insects to carry its pollen from plant to plant. Rather than attracting bees/moths/birds/etc. with scents and/or food (nectar and pollen), it gets the euglossine bee to do its procreative dirty work by providing it with a sex lure. Let me explain. Apparently the Coryanthes speciosa flower produces a scent that is attractive to male euglossine bees. The bees come to the flower, attracted by this scent, and there they collect a waxy substance which emits a scent that is attractive to female euglossines. But, they still haven’t pollenated the flower. The wax that the bees want is secreted from a bonnet shaped structure at the top of the flower. Below there is a bucket filled with liquid. Sometimes a bee will slip and fall, landing in the pool. But this is not a carnivorous flower. The bee does not drown. Once having fallen into the pool at the bottom of the flower, the only way out is to crawl through a small tunnel leading to freedom. But, along the way the bee must rub against a structure inside the tunnel that attaches a package of pollen to the bee’s back.

After emerging, the bee is soaking wet. He must sit and wait to dry off before he can fly away. During this time, the pollen is also able to dry. Now, presumably he hasn’t gotten enough wax yet to attract a mate, so when he is dry he must go to another flower to get more. If, while gathering wax at a different flower he is again so clumsy that he falls into the pool, then he will again need to climb out through that flower’s escape tunnel. Along the way a different structure within the tunnel will grab the dried pollen sacks from the back of the bee, thereby pollenating the flower. I am told that euglossine bees don’t fall into the liquid pool very often, and rarely do so twice. As a result, Coryanthes flowers are almost never fertilized.

I don’t care how badly you want to believe in the theory of evolution, that is just ridiculous. One can’t learn about Coryanthes fertilization without shaking your head and saying “Uh, uh. No way.” There is no way that could have evolved through random mutation and natural selection. On the other hand, anyone that would call it “intelligent design” is clearly either demented or Rube Goldberg. Evidently we need a radical new theory to explain the diversity of life on earth, and I am here to provide it: Comic Evolution.

The Theory of Comic Evolution is an outgrowth of the Church of God the Comic. Members of the Church of God the Comic believe that God and his buddies created the universe in order to get a good laugh. Comic Evolution suggests that all things (plants, animals, and natural forces) evolve to produce the most ridiculous result. Furthermore, this process is not entirely random. If things aren’t behaving strangely enough, God and his troop of merry mischief makers will intervene to maximize absurdity.

One can imagine them sitting around on a boring day screwing around with reproductive systems. Shecky, the Archangel of Orchids, says “Hey, God, check this out! I made an orchid that can only reproduce if a particular kind of bee is very clumsy.  Bwaaaa, haaaa, haaa, haaa.” To which God replies, “Yea, verily, that is droll. But while you were piddling around with your flowers, look what I did to these mammals; I turned the bit where the male excretes urine into his sexual organ! Now he has to convince the female of his species to let him insert it into her to deposit packets of DNA.  Woo hoo!  Hilarity ensues.”  The other Archangels roll on the floor laughing as Shecky slinks away with his Coryanthes to hide it in some jungle trees.

The Day I Saw the Hand of God

Rodney King's impassioned speech "Can we all get along?"

On March 3, 1991, several police officers in Los Angeles kicked and beat Rodney King after stopping him for a speeding violation. A year later, four of the officers were tried for use of excessive force in the arrest. On April 29, 1992 the jury acquitted three of the officers, and declared themselves hung on the fourth. News of the acquittal sparked the 1992 Los Angeles Riots. During six days of rioting and looting 53 people were killed, thousands injured, and a reported one billion dollars in property damage occurred.

The first two days of the riots where extraordinary and terrifying to watch on TV. I cannot imagine the experience on the ground. It appeared that Los Angeles had gone crazy. Then, on the third day, Rodney King held a press conference in front of his lawyer’s office. King spoke with a purity, honesty, and expressiveness that reached out and touched all who heard him. The press conference included his now-iconic plea "People, I just want to say, you know, can we, can we all get along? Can we get along? Can we stop making it horrible for the older people and the kids, and…it’s not right, it’s not right.” His voice breaking with emotion he went on, “…to see the security guard shot on the ground, it’s just not right because those people will never go home to their families again, and, please, we can get along here.”

Before that day, Rodney King was an ordinary man; not particularly well educated, nor well spoken, with no experience as a leader, and no training to prepare him to present an impassioned plea for peace. As I watched him on television that day, I felt that I was seeing the hand of God on earth, giving King the strength, character and skills that he needed to make his call for an end to the rioting. I tried to imaging if I would have the qualities necessary to do what King had done. Could I have spoken with such emotion that it would have touched all who heard? Would some force, call it “God,” have entered me and given me what I needed to step forward and move people in such a way?

Though the riots continued for three more days, Rodney King’s plea brought an end to the majority of the violence. By the time police, National Guard, and the military arrived, most of the rioting had already ended – presumably in response to King’s call that “we all get along.”

Sadly, Rodney King could not end his own internal riot as easily as that in the streets.  His problems with alcohol and drug addiction continued to rule his life. Yesterday, June 17, Rodney King was found dead in his swimming pool, just 47 years of age. In earlier interviews he had said that swimming was one of the only things that gave him peace.

Rest in peace, Rodney, rest in peace.

I WANT part 4

[back to I WANT, part 3], [back to I WANT, part 2], [back to I WANT, part 1]

I WISH
what happened to "i want?"
"I WISH" IS EASIER
"i wish" is easier?
"I WANT" TAKES WORK
yes, we covered that. "i want" takes work
IF "I WANT," THEN I HAVE TO DO WORK TO GET WHAT I WANT
yes
IF "I WISH," THEN I JUST GET WHAT I WISH FOR
you get what you wish for?
WELL, NOT YET
that's what I thought.


I WANT I WANT I WANT
yes, i know, you want. we have been going over this for weeks now
I STILL WANT
yes, you still want. you are alive, and so you want
I AM ALIVE, AND SO I WANT. THAT DOESN'T MAKE ME FEEL ANY BETTER
what will make you feel better?
I WILL FEEL BETTER IF YOU GIVE ME WHAT I WANT
why do you still think i can give you what you want?


I WISH YOU WOULD GIVE ME WHAT I WANT
i'm sure you do
WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME WHAT I WANT?
i don't think i can give you what you want.


I WANT YOU TO HELP ME WISH
you want me to help you wish?
YES, I WANT YOU TO HELP ME WISH
how do i do that?
WISH WITH ME. HELP ME WISH FOR WHAT I WANT
how will that help?
IF YOU WISH WITH ME, THEN I WONT BE WISHING ALONE
i will help you wish
I KNEW YOU HAD WHAT I WANT
yes. i have what you want. i want to help you wish.

Repairing an Antique Soda Siphon – Redux

One of my most popular blog posts, and certainly the most consistently popular, was about the process of repairing an antique soda siphon. That was just over 6 months ago.  Since then I have had to make a couple more repairs. I have also learned a few things – some from comments left by readers of that post. Because that posting has proven to be so popular (who knew so many people wanted to repair old soda siphons) I decided it was time to post an update with new photos and new information.

---

DISCLAIMER: The information provided here is for entertainment purposes only.  I do not know if the materials used by Sparklets, or any other early soda siphon makers, meet current standards for safety for drinking water. Furthermore, the gasket forming materials used in this project are not labeled for use in contact with food or beverages. If you should attempt to repair your own soda siphon using the information below, whether successful or not, I guarantee that you and everyone you know will die a horrible death in screaming agony. You have been warned.

---

After repairing my Sparklets siphon with my re-created rubber components, it worked well for several months. However, eventually the gasket at the gas input port blew out. I took another look at the original (which I had saved.) It was clear that my original casting was rather crude, missing some fine details of varying thickness on the outside of the part. I decided to re-cast it, putting only the thinnest possible layer of Vaseline on the original so that the fidelity of the part would be maintained. After re-casting, I also carefully ground and polished out the surface of the plaster to make the ridges as robust as possible.

When it came time to make the new part, I followed the advice of a commentator on my original post. He noted that my problems with getting the gasket forming material to harden were the result of using Vaseline on the mold as a mold-release. I removed every trace of Vaseline left over from casting the part, and I used a non-petroleum lubricant as suggested - I skipped the cornstarch additive. It took a couple of days for the part to set up. Even with all that time I had to remove the top of the mold to allow the rest to fully cure before removing the newly formed gasket from the bottom half of the mold. It was also much more difficult to get the part out than it had been with Vaseline. However, the resultant gasket was much firmer and sturdier than my prior component.

Siphon head, charger piercing pin, gasket, and retaining ring.

Given the quality of this new piece, I also re-cast the gasket for the top of the bottle. Because of the problems getting the gasket material to set, I decided to add just a small amount of cornstarch. It still took a long time to cure (though not as long) and the part was strong and high quality. I believe that a bit more experimentation could come up with the perfect corn-starch to gasket forming material ratio. If any readers have been playing with this, I’d love to hear what you have found.

My new bottle top gasket

The bottle top gasket on its glass rod

A second problem also arose during the past months. Water began spurting out from the gas port every time I attempted to carbonate. I suspected the interior stopper had gone bad again. However, when I took everything apart it all looked fine. When I had originally disassembled the siphon I skipped removing the gas port from the siphon head. It had been completely frozen in place, and it hadn’t seemed to matter. At this point, with nowhere else to look, I realized that it had to come out.

An 11mm box end wrench fits the indents on the gas inlet

I saturated the part with 3-in-1 oil and waited. After a day I tried to unscrew it using an 11mm box end wrench. No luck. It was stuck fast. I applied more oil and gave it another day. Still no joy. Finally I put the whole head into a bench vice (protected by blocks of wood), fit the wrench to the gas input port, and hit it with a hammer. A couple good solid whacks broke the gas port free of its decades long embrace.

All the parts inside the gas inlet

Inside I found a completely degraded red fiber gasket, corroded aluminum threads, and a rubber topped plunger set on a spring. Immediately the rubber crumbed into dust. The fiber gasket was easy to replace (though I had to ream the replacement out slightly to make it fit.) For the destroyed rubber disk I took a piece of sheet rubber from my collection of odds-n-ends. A 7mm hole punch produced a disk of exactly the right size to sit on top of the plunger without impeding movement within its channel. Carefully I scrubbed out all the corrosion, put the system together with all of the new parts, and resumed cheerfully making Sparklets soda.

A 7mm hole punch makes just the right size rubber disk

I hope these new tips and photos are helpful to people that may be attempting a similarly foolish project in their own homes.  Enjoy!

---

Some of the most frequent questions I have received pertained to dissasembly of the siphon head. Here are some additional photos showing some of the steps.

Remove the hinge pin by knocking it out with a hammer and a suitably sized nail.

To remove the crown from the siphon head, I used a tool designed to remove  the backs of
wrist watches. It is very sturdy and has adjustable pins. They are available quite cheaply on Amazon.

After removing the handle and the crown you can take out the spring and then the  plunger.

The lever, hinge pin, crown, spring, and plunger.

I needed something thin and strong to unscrew the ring that holds the gas port gasket in place. I found that these scissors worked perfectly (using the dull, outside edge.) Anything thin but strong and rigid should work.

All of the parts disassembled and laid out for your viewing enjoyment.

I WANT part 3

[back to I WANT, part 2], [back to I WANT, part 1]

I DON'T DESERVE TO WANT
don't be ridiculous, everyone deserves to want
I HAVE SO MUCH, I DON'T DESERVE TO WANT
you have a human heart. the human heart wants
THE HUMAN HEART WANTS?
you have to want. if you don't want, you are dead.


ISN'T WANTING THE SOURCE OF ALL SUFFERING?
yes.


YES? THAT'S IT? JUST "YES"?
yes.


I HAVE SO MUCH, I DON'T DESERVE ANY MORE
how do you know?
BECAUSE IT FEELS WRONG TO WANT
how do you measure what you deserve?
I WANT, BUT I FEEL ASHAMED
perhaps you should want to deserve more.


I WANT TO STOP WANTING
is that some kind of stupid logic trick
SHIT


I WANT! I WANT! I WANT! BUT I DON'T DESERVE TO WANT
deserve has nothing to do with it
WHY DOES IT FEEL LIKE DESERVING HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH IT
because you want it to
NOW WHO'S USING STUPID LOGIC TRICKS
shit



WHY WON'T YOU GIVE ME WHAT I WANT?
what makes you think i have what you want?
SOMEONE HAS WHAT I WANT
you have what someone wants



GIVE ME WHAT I WANT, OR GO AWAY

HELLO?

HELLO?

SHIT.

THAT WASN'T WHAT I WANTED.

[on to I WANT part 4]